First

Sorry, I haven't been able to update in a while. I've been busy with homework, knitting Nani's dress, and Mother's day. This quarter I am so swamped with reading and homework, and since I practically bombed last quarter, I really have to step my game up and ace this quarter to bring my GPA up.

My first Mother's day came and went. It wasn't as special as I wanted it to be. I got to spend quality time with my family, but I guess I was hoping for a little bit more. Maybe a card, breakfast in bed, or even some cleaning around the house. Didn't really happen. All we did was go to a neighbor's house for a BBQ, which was nice and fun. But I had so much homework I had to get to, so we weren't able to stay long. And it was getting late and close to Nani's bed time anyway.

Now it's Nani's first birthday coming up soon. I've been trying to plan it for a couple of months now, but I don't have anything planned at all! I keep asking hubby to help me plan, but he's no help at all. It doesn't make it easier that my best friend in high school is getting married 4 days before Nani's birthday, and that Father's day is that weekend. Ugh. I don't know what to do and I really wish my husband would tell me what he wants to do. I feel like it's not important to him. I mean, I know Ne'ani won't remember it, but still... to me it's a big thing. I want to go to Disneyland, or have her birthday at a water park.. but it's so hard to plan because of money.. and also because most of our friends live a few hours south of us and it would be tough to get anyone to come up to where we live.

Sometimes I get jealous of everyone who still lives close to their friends and family. Because they can throw birthday party celebrations and know that people will show up. Their children will receive lots of gifts, there will be tons of food, and everyone will have a great time. Then I think about Nani. I have to bend over backwards for everyone. I have to think about my family and friends and plan what's easier for them instead of what's easier for us. Then I get sad.. because I think about if we do what's easier for us.. that people won't come celebrate... and it will only be us..

I guess I'm ok with that. But for once, I just want people to bend over backwards to come to us. For once, can't it be easier for us?

Ugh. I have a bunch of things to do today.. this week.. this month! I will try and update as much as I can.

-S